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11 March, 201011 March, 2010 0 comments Uncategorized Uncategorized

Write Right
There were a sensitivity and a beauty to her that have nothing to do with looks. She silk roadwas one to be listened to, whose words were so easy to take to heart. It is said that the true nature of being is veiled. The labor of words, the expression of art, the seemingly ceaseless buzz that is human thought all have in common the need to get at what really is so. The hope to draw close to and possess the truth of being can be a feverish one. In some cases it can even be fatal, if pleasure itibet tourss one's truth and its attainment more important than life itself. In other lives, though, the search for what is truthful gives life. I used to find notes left in the collection basket, beautiful notes about my homilies and about the writer's thoughts on the daily scriptural readings. The person who penned the notes would add reflections to my thoughts and would always include someyangtze cruise quotes from poets and mystics he or she had read and remembered and loved. The notes fascinated me. Here was someone immersed in a search for truth and beauty. Words had been treasured, words that were beautiful. And I felt as if the words somehow delighted in being discovered, for they were obviously very generous to the as yet anonymous writer of the notes. And now this person was in turn learning the secret of sharing them. Beauty so shines when given away. The only truth that exists is, in that sense, free. It was a long time before I met the author of the china toursnotes. One Sunday morning, I was told that someone was waiting for me in the office. The young person who answered the rectory door said that it was "the woman who said she left all the notes." When I saw her I was shocked, since I immediately recognized her from church but had no idea that it was she who wrote the notes. She was sitting in a chair in the office with her hands folded in her lap. Her headcanton fair hotels was bowed and when she raised it to look at me, she could barely smile without pain. Her face was disfigured, and the skin so tight from surgical procedures that smiling or laughing was very difficult for her. She had suffered terribly from treatment to remove the growths that had so marred her face.
We chatted for a while that Sunday morning and agreed to meet for lunch later that week. As it turned out we went to lunch several times, and she always wore a hat during the meal. I think that treatments of some sort had caused a lot of her hair to fall out. We shared things about our lives. I told her about my CONNECTORSschooling and growing up. She told me that she had worked for years for an insurance company. She never mentioned family, and I did not ask. We spoke of authors we both had read, and it was easy to tell that books are a great love of hers. I have thought about her often over the years and how she struggled in a society that places an incredible premium on looks, class, wealth and all china travel agencythe other fineries of life. She suffered from a disfigurement that cannot be made to look attractive. I know that her condition hurt her deeply. Would her life have been different had she been pretty? Chances are it would have. And yet there were a sensitivity and a beauty to her that had nothing to do with looks. She was one to be listened to, whose great wallwords were so easy to take to heart. Her words came from a wounded but loving heart, very much like all hearts, but she had more of a need to be aware of it, to live with it and learn from it. She possessed a fine-tuned sense of beauty. Her only fear in life was the loss of a friend. How long does it take most of us to reach that level of human growth, if we ever get there? We get sojiuzhaigou consumed and diminished, worrying about all the things that need improving, we can easily forget to cherish those things that last. Friendship, so rare and so good, just needs our care--maybe even the simple gesture of writing a little note now and then, or the dropping of some beautiful words in a basket, in the hope that such beauty will be shared and taken to heart. The Cheap jordan sneakertruth of her life was a desire to see beyond the surface for a glimpse of what it is that matters. She found beauty and grace and they befriended her, and showed her what is real.
When I was fifteen, I announced to my English class that I was going to write and illustrate my own books. Half the students sneered, the rest nearly fell out of their chairs laughing. "Don't be silly, only geniuses can become writers," the English teacher said smugly, "And you are getting a D this semester." I was so humiliated I burst into tears. That night I wrote a short sad poem about broken dreams and mailed it to the Capri's Weekly newspaper. To my astonishment, they published it and sent me two dollars. I was a published and paid writer. I showed my teacher and fellow students. They laughed. "Just plain dumb luck," the teacher said. I tasted success. I'd sold the first thing I'd ever written. That was more than any of them had done and if it electric motorwas just dumb luck, that was fine with me. During the next two years I sold dozens of poems, letters, jokes and recipes. By the time I graduated from high school, with a C minus average, I had scrapbooks filled with my published work. I never mentioned my writing to my teachers, friends or my family again. They were dream killers and if people must choose between their friends and their dreams, they must always choose their dreams. I had four children at the time, and the oldest was only four. While the children napped, I typed on my ancient typewriter. I wrote what I felt. It took nine months, just like a baby. I chose a publisher at random and put the manuscript in an empty Pampers diapers package, the only box I could find. I'd never heard of manuscript boxes. The letter I enclosed read, "I wrote this book myself, I hope you like it. I also do the illustrations. Chapter six and twelve are my favourites. Thank you." I tied a string around the diaper box and mailed it without a self addressed stamped envelope and without making a copy of the manuscript. A month later I received a contract, an advance on royalties, and a request to start working on another book. Crying Wind, the title of my book, became a best seller, was translated into fifteen languages and Braille and sold worldwide. I appeared on TV talk shows during the day and changed diapers at night. I traveled from New York to California and Canada on promotional tours. My first book also became required reading in native American schools in Canada.

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11 March, 201011 March, 2010 0 comments Uncategorized Uncategorized

Love Your Life
Springs are not always the same. In some years, April bursts upon Virginia hills in one prodigious guangzhou hotelsleap - and all the stage is filled at once, whole choruses of tulips, arabesques of forsythia, cadenzas of flowering plum. The trees grow leaves overnight. In other years, spring tiptoes in. It pauses, overcome by shyness, like my grandchild at the door, peeping in, ducking out of sight, giggling in the hallway. "I know you're out there," I cry. "Come in!" And April slips into our arms. The dogwood bud, pale green, is inlaid with russet markings. Within the perfect cup a score of clustered seeds are nestled. One examines the bud in awe: Where were those seeds a month ago? The apples display their milliner's scrapsWholesale nike air jordan of ivory silk, rose-tinged. All the sleeping things wake up - primrose, baby iris, blue phlox. The earth warms - you can smell it, feel it, crumble April in your hands. Look to the rue anemone, if you will, or the pea patch, or to the stubborn weed that thrusts its shoulders through a city street. This is how it was, is now, and ever shall be, the world without end. In the serene certainty of spring Direct current motorrecurring, who can fear the distant fall? Declarations of undying devotion will flash across Paris's municipal bulletin boards every 20 seconds next month as the French capital invents a new way to say "I love you" on Valentine's Day. Bertrand Delanoe, the left-wing mayor known for his innovative city festivals, said the electronic boards would carry the best short love letters on February 14 - Valentine's Day - and throughout that weekend, adding that they would "help Parisians tell each other' I love you'". He urged Parisians to send in their messages with a note indicating which asynchronous motorneighbourhood they wanted them to be posted in. A special committee would pick out the best ones to display. The illuminated boards, which normally announce everything from city festivals to traffic warnings, stand at key squares and intersections all around the French capital.
To forgive may be divine, but no one ever said it was easy. When someone hasoptical turnstiles deeply hurt you, it can be extremely difficult to let go of your grudge. But forgiveness is possible -- and it can be surprisingly beneficial to your physical and mental health. "People who forgive show less depression, anger and stress and more hopefulness," says Frederic, Ph.D., author of Forgive for Good. "So it can help save on the wear and tear on our organs, reduce the wearing out of the immune system and CONNECTORallow people to feel more vital." So how do you start the healing? Try following these steps: Calm yourself. To defuse your anger, try a simple stress-management technique. "Take a couple of breaths and think of something that gives you pleasure: a beautiful scene in nature, someone you love," Frederic says. Don't wait for an apology. "Many times the person who hurtshoe cover machine you has no intention of apologizing," Frederic says. "They may have wanted to hurt you or they just don't see things the same way. So if you wait for people to apologize, you could be waiting an awfully long time." Keep in mind that forgiveness does not necessarily mean reconciliation with the person who upset you or condoning of his or her action. Take theBrass fittings control away from your offender. Mentally replaying your hurt gives power to the person who caused you pain. "Instead of focusing on your wounded feelings, learn to look for the love, beauty and kindness around you," Frederic says. Try to see things from the other person's perspective. If you empathize with that person, you may realize that he or she was acting out of ignorance, fear -- even love. To gain perspective, you may want to write a letter to yourself from your offender's point of view. Recognize the benefits of forgiveness. Research has shown that people who forgive report more energy, betterstamping metal appetite and better sleep patterns. Don't forget to forgive yourself. "For some people, forgiving themselves is the biggest challenge," Frederic says. "But it can rob you of your self-confidence if you don't do it."
However mean your life is, meet it and live it ;do not shun it and call it hard names. It is not so bad as you are. It looks poorest when you are richest. The fault-finder will find faults in paradise. Love your life, poor as it is. You may perhaps have some pleasant, thrilling, glorious hours, even in a poor-house. The setting sun is reflected from the windows of the alms-house as brightly as from the rich man's abode; the snow melts before its door as early in the spring. I do not see but a quiet mind may live as contentedly there, and have as cheering thoughts, as in a palace. The town's poor seem to me often to live the most independent lives of any. May be they are simply great enough to receive without misgiving. Most think that they are above being supported auto scannerby the town; but it often happens that they are not above supporting themselves by dishonest means. which should be more disreputable. Cultivate poverty like a garden herb, like sage. Do not trouble yourself much to get new things, whether clothes or friends, Turn the old, return to them. Things do not change; we change. Sell your clothes and keep your thoughts. The thermometer had dropped to 18 degrees below zero, but still chose to sleep in the porch as usual. In the evening, the most familiar sight to me would be stars in the sky. Though they were a mere sprinkle of twinkling dots, yet I had become so accustomed to them that their occasional absence would bring me loneliness and ennui. It had been snowing all night, not a single star in sight. My roommate and I, each wrapped in a quilt, were seated far apart in a different corner of the porch, facing each other and chatting away. She exclaimed pointing to something afar, "Look, Venus in rising!" I looked up and saw nothing but a lamp round the bend in a mountain path. I beamed and said pointing to a tiny lamplight on the opposite mountain, "It's Jupiter over there!" More and more lights came into sight as we kept pointing here and there. Lights from hurricane lamps flickering about in the pine forest created the scene of a star-studded sky. With the distinction between sky and forest obscured by snowflakes, the numerous lamp-lights now easily passed for as many stars. Completely lost in a make-believe world, I seemed to see all the lamplights drifting from the ground. With the illusory stars hanging still overhead, I was spared the effort of tracing their positions when I woke up from my dreams in the dead of night. Thus I found consolation even on a lonely snowy night !

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11 March, 201011 March, 2010 0 comments Uncategorized Uncategorized

My sister
The first memory I have of him - of anything, really - is his strength. It was in the late afternoon bag making machineryin a house under construction near ours. The unfinished wood floor had large, terrifying holes whose yawning darkness I knew led to nowhere good. His powerful hands, then age 33, wrapped all the way around my tiny arms, then age 4, and easily swung me up to his shoulders to command all I surveyed. The relationship between a son and his father led street lightchanges over time. It may grow and flourish in mutual maturity. It may sour in resented dependence or independence. With many children living in single-parent homes today, it may not even exist. But to a little boy right after World War II ,a father seemed a god with strange strengths and uncanny] powers enabling him to do and know things that no mortal could do or know. Amazing things, like putting a bicycle chain back ball valveon, just like that. Or building a hamster cage.Or guiding a jigsaw so it forms the letter F;I learned the alphabet that way in those pre-television days. There were, of course, rules to learn. First came the handshake. None of those fishlittle finger grips, but a good firm squeeze accompanied by an equally strong gaze into the other's eyes. " The first thing anyone knows about you is your handshake," he would say. And we'd practice it each night on his return from work, the Gucci Shoesserious toddler in the battered Cleveland Indian's cap running up to the giant father to shake hands again and again until it was firm enough. As time passed, there were other rules to learn. "Always do your best.""Do it now.""Never lie!" And most importantly,"You can do whatever you have to do." By my teens, he wasn't telling me what to do anymore, which was scary and heady at the samehid lights time. He provided perspective, not telling me what was around the great corner of life but letting me know there was a lot more than just today and the next, which I hadn't thought of.
One day, I realize now, there was a change. I wasn't trying to please him so much as I Blister packagingwas trying to impress him. I never asked him to come to my football games. He had a high-pressure career, and it meant driving through most of Friday night. But for all the big games, when I looked over at the sideline, there was that familiar fedora. And by God, did the opposing team captain ever get a firm handshake and a gaze he would remember.    Then, a school fact contradicted something he said. Impossible that he could be wrong, but there it was in the book. These accumulated over time, along with personal experiences, to buttress my own developing sense of values. And I could tell we hadFan Motor each taken our own, perfectly normal paths. I began to see, too, his blind spots, his prejudices and his weaknesses. I never threw these up at him. He hadn't to me, and, anyway, he seemed to need protection. I stopped asking his advice; the experiences he drew from no longer seemed relevant to the decisions I had to make. He volunteered advice for a while. But then, in more recent years, politics and issues gave way to talk of empty errands and, always, to ailments. From his bed, he showed me the many sores and scars on his misshapen body and all the bottles for medicine. " Sometimes," he confided, " I wouldtibet travel just like to lie down and go to sleep and not wake up."    After much thought and practice (" You can do whatever you have to do." ), one night last winter, I sat down by his bed and remembered for an instant those terrifying dark holes in another house 35 years before. I told my fatherhow much I loved him. I described all the things people were doing for him. But, I said, he kept eating poorly, hiding in his room and violating the doctor's orders. No amount of love could make someone else care about life, I said; it was a two-way street. He wasn't doing his best. The decision was his. He said he knew how hard my words had been to say and how proud he was of me. " I had the best teacher," I said. " You can do whatever you have to do." He smiled a little. And we shook hands, firmly, for the last time. Several dayschina travel later, at about 4 A.M., my mother heard Dad shuffling about their dark room. " I have some things I have to do," he said. He paid a bundle of bills. He composed for my mother a long list of legal and financial what-to-do's " in case of emergency." And he wrote me a note. Then he walked back to his bed and laid himself down. He went to sleep, naturally. And he did not wake up.
There was no one quite like my father -- in our town of Victor. When any other man in town had an extra dollar, he bought a drink; when Father had an extra dollar, he bought a book. Other people had pictures on their walls, or at least a calendar; we had books, 3000 of them, lining every vertical surface of our little four - room house, on every subject from astronomy to zoology. Father was the most persistent scholar I ever knew. Every summer he took a month or so off to attend classes in Denver or Omaha or Chicago. Twice aCheap designer handbags week, a neighbor recently arrived from Germany came over to converse with him in German because he hoped some day to study with the great professors of medicine in Vienna. Eventually, he earned seven degrees, attended 11 different colleges and universities, and in 1951, when he was 82 sent us a cheerful little note from England to say that he had just enrolled for a graduate course in Elizabethan literature at Oxford. Pherbia, and I were the immediate beneficiaries of Father's insatiable hunger to learn. Every spring, carrying his geologist's hammer, he would take us hiking through the mountains to study mineral formations and search for rocks and wildflowers for his specimen collections. We were expected to identify all specimens without hesitation. On winter nights, when the skies were especially clear from DC motorour, 10,000-foot vantage point in the Rockies, he would set up a telescope and wake us to come view the stars, which he then named with the affectionate familiarity of a local tour guide. For the rest of my life, wherever I traveled around this earth, the stars remained my friends. Of course, here have been times as a young man, when I got tired of study and devoted my time to playing. Then Father would admonish me succinctly by quoting a saying from Shakespeare, "If all the year were playing holidays, to sport would be as tedious as to work.Obviously, his efforts were not entirely in vain, for my voice has enabled me to earn a fair livelihood. But that fact doesn't begin to define the enormous debt I owe my father.

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11 March, 201011 March, 2010 0 comments Uncategorized Uncategorized

一个真实的我
恭喜,你的空间被推荐到百度空间首页啦!看到du掌柜发来的这则消息,我还恍若梦中。记得喷嘴我在某篇文字中写道,凭我那点文化,凭我那点水平,凭我读那点儿书,要上百度空间首页,那纯粹是天方夜谭黄粱一梦,简直是不可思议。然而,也就是在建博50日后,居然登上了百度首页--新鲜男女空间第三波。真是让我激动和兴奋。高兴之余,除了感谢百度空间组的辛勤劳作,感谢du掌柜的推荐之外,还得感谢访问过我空间的所有好友,是你们的来访,让我增加了写博的信心,虽然我的文字写得不好,但我喜欢与各位喷嘴交流思想,交流感情,让心与心的距离拉得更近。记得有位好友看了我写的博文后问我:你毕业于什么大学啊?不管你这句话是出于真诚,还是出于玩笑,(从你对我的某些质疑,这问话应该是真诚的,我相信。)也许是你看到我写的文字(只能说文字,说"文章"的话,我怕亵渎了这两个字),某些章节还算不错,就"断章取义"以为我读过很多书。我在这里明确地告诉你,也告诉各位,我没有上过高中,更没有上过大学,连个初中毕业证也没有拿到,真是让人笑咨询公司话了。唯一值得我庆幸的是,那一年,和一些教师以及行政人员,一同坐在考场上,参加过自学高考,我报考的是中文专业,可是,几科都没有及格。还记得有位好友对我说:你不是一般的打工仔吧。我告诉她,说自己的确是一名普通的打工仔。她不信,要是做普工,哪有时间天天挂在网上?是啊,她说得也有道理,在这里,我还得对这位好友说:谢谢你对我的咨询公司关注,不过,我生活的情况你还是不怎么了解。我的工作在厂里是一位员工,经常上夜班,熬夜是家常便饭。只是,我没有在流水线上干活,把上司分的活儿干完了,就可以自由休息。因此,一般情况下,我晚上有几个小时可以睡觉,这样一来,白天就睡不着了。当然就有了大把的时间,上上网,聊聊天,看些新闻,发点日志。说到这里,也许会让某些好友"失望"或"不可思议"。其实,这就是一个普通的我,一个平凡的我,一个真实的我,一个也有那么一点点与ERP软件众不同的我。但不管怎样,我的心是真实的,是真切的,是真诚的。我和许许多多的打工人一样,每天准时打卡,按时上班,在工厂里忙碌,在车间里穿梭。最近一段时间,厂里订单多了,看来有些紧张,不管怎样,我都会尽量抽出时间,来到网MBA上,来到空间,与大家共同分享生活中的欢乐和喜悦。共同分享人生中的精彩和惊喜。呵呵,谢谢各位的来访,时间允许的话,我一定回访你们的空间啊!
"泥巴裹满裤腿,汗水湿透衣背,我不知道你是谁,我却知道你为了谁。"这虽不上海搬家公司能比喻她的力量,但却能把她心中的爱淋漓尽致的表现出来,这个人就是我的母亲。我的母亲同天底下数亿个母亲一样,对我是爱之深,责之切。在白驹过隙的弹指一瞬,我长大了,而妈妈却老了许多,我抬头望见母亲脸上的皱纹越来越深了,原本富有光泽的那张脸,如今已是暗黄,苍老。这些年,妈妈似乎接受了生活的洗礼,承受了雨雪风霜。但她却放弃了女人应享受的一切。妈妈是一个非常要强的人,然而,要强的背宣传片制作后却是无奈和付出。妈妈希望家里过上好日子,总认为靠爸爸自己工作是不够的,所以她自己出去找了一份工作,究竟是什么工作妈妈总是瞒着我和爸爸。妈妈每天起早贪晚,累得腰酸腿疼的。看着妈妈每天回来时疲惫的样子,我怀疑那并不是一份"平凡"的工作。可每当我问起时,妈妈却总装作一副轻松的样子说那份工作十分安逸。然而,当我继续追问下去的时候,妈妈就会跟我翻脸。这不得不是我对那份工作更加疑惑了。记得在一个进口轴承星期天的早晨,妈妈走的非常早,不由地引起了我的好奇,所以我跟踪妈妈来到一个大商场,这就是我更加猜疑了,因为商场规模很大,琳琅满目,是高层次人消费的理想场所,妈妈能在这里找的什么工作呢?难道妈妈在这里卖衣服?不对,卖衣服是需要本钱的,可从没见妈妈从家里拿钱啊!忽然,一个身穿工作服的熟悉背影出现在我眼前,我注视了一会儿,她好像感觉到了我的注视,猛一抬头,真的FAG轴承是妈妈,她看到了我,手拄着腰,用力的抬起头,向我微笑着,而微笑中却带着腰疼的痛苦,看着妈妈痛苦的微笑,我心里像打翻了五味瓶一样,什么滋味都有。原来她在这里做清洁工。商场共有五楼,为了多赚些钱,妈妈把五层楼的楼梯全包了下来,由于扫地时要长时间弯腰,所以猛一抬头腰部会非常酸痛。此后不久,妈妈回家后总说手上的关节疼,所以,就趁着放假的时候,爸爸陪着妈妈去了医院,医生说SKF轴承是因为妈妈在打扫商场卫生是,都是用冷水洗拖布,所以时间一长,手上的关节就会疼,如果今后仍旧在商场工作的话,可能会导致风湿。所以,医生建议妈妈换一份工作。回到家里,爸爸要妈妈把商场的工作辞了,可妈妈却坚持要做下去,说现在工作都非常难找,虽然商场TIMKEN轴承清洁工的月工资仅仅六七百元,但那也足够我们家几个月的生活费了。但被迫无奈,再坚持下去,妈妈也会支持不住的,唯一的办法也只有把商场的工作辞了。
  有过了不长时间,妈妈在一家个体经营的面食店里找到了一份工作。妈妈的主要工作任务是帮老板做面食,可是,妈妈从来没有做过这样的工作,经常做不好,还要受到老板的指责,可妈妈回家从来都不说,只希望把工作做好,可以赚到那几百元的工资,补贴家用。妈妈只为了让家里过上好日子,可她却放弃了许多作为一个女人进口轴承应享受的一切。看着别人的妈妈穿金戴银去逛街,买衣服,而我的妈妈却穿得那么普通。我心里说,妈妈呀,这些年,你可曾上街买过一件衣服?妈妈,你放弃的实在是太多了,在你身上,我真正地看到了遗失的美好......妈妈呀,儿子此刻,对您没有什么豪言壮语,更没有海誓山盟;今天你的付出,是为了使我的明天更美好,而我只能使您的晚年更加幸福我长大了,可妈妈却老了---粗糙的皮肤,微驼的背,两鬓飘起的白发;再看一眼妈妈Wholesale ed hardy clothing苍白消瘦的面庞,我哭了,一头扎进妈妈的怀里。在我人生的旅途中,已经走过了五千多个日日夜夜,迎送了十几个春夏秋冬。在这些幸福难忘的日子里,是妈妈,像日月一样紧紧相伴在我身旁,用一片真情呵护着我,培育着我;是妈妈,带给我无尽的温暖,奋斗的信心和成功的动力。而她留给自己的,却只有岁月沧桑的印记。但她无怨无悔,用自己的爱心蘸着浓浓的真情默默地为我书写着一个大字---值!

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11 March, 201011 March, 2010 0 comments Uncategorized Uncategorized

爱情的忧伤
突然感觉这个社会越来越现实,越来越陌生一样,现实的人们在各种压力下拼命的往前赶着,一ERP不留神就会被人家笑话:你连这个都不知道,你已经OUT了。看到还在上学的学生,他们现在无疑也会产生抱怨,说不清是父母为了面子还是真的希望子女成才,最好是多才多艺,打刚能走路就开始报各种培训班,让孩子们从小就感受到压力,一直伴随到长大成人,儿时的乐趣几乎淡化了,我认为那不利于孩子的健康成长;在各大学逍遥的学子们,那是最幸福的一段时光了,有宽松的时间,是学管理咨询公司习是谈恋爱,那种罗曼蒂克的爱情总会在这期间萌芽产生,幻想毕业以后工作的生活是怎么样子,幻想自己一定要在几年之内怎么怎么样达到自己的目标,真正到社会上开始工作,厌倦了在人才市场奔波的艰辛,看着一家家企业都是需求有相应工作年限,才感觉管理咨询公司自己的渺小,挑到一家单位努力的从小做起,拿微薄的工资,还得带上无休止的加班,慢慢磨练GMAT的变的现实了。白天黑夜永无停息,岁月的年轮一圈圈的呈现,再考虑结婚生子,面对高昂的房价,恨不得时间过得慢一点,能多赚点,也恨不得把一块钱掰两半使用,为了爱情,为了家,总是让人伤透脑筋。
  昨晚下班同事推荐看一个节目,是东方卫视《幸福魔方》栏目一起节目,名叫"透支爱情",里上海搬场公司面的原原和俊浩的爱情是真正的爱情,看完这节目,为之动容,懂得真正相爱的双方,只是结果不太完美,俊浩有了自己新的女朋友,因为责任无法放弃现在的她,但是我认为他最爱的还是原原,还是衷心希望两人走到一起。这个访谈节目同时深刻折射出了很多问题,例如折射出当代父母干涉子女婚姻的理由,就是无钱不成事,只要对方有钱,能让自己的孩子过的好,那就是好。殊不知,孩子们房地产广告的幸福并不是只要有钱就足够的,感情理应是第一位,假设你的孩子嫁到人家,天天被拳打脚踢,过着受折磨的日子,钱能解决什么呢?没有爱情的婚姻那不是婚姻,而现在即使有爱情,踏入围城以后,接连的不信任也是将摄影公司婚姻埋葬。同时也反映了现在房产商的暴力,让蚁族们无法找到方向,让爱情因为这个成为无情,仰望天空,那爱情只是一个美丽而濒临破碎的梦,我们普通人的薪水还是一样,即使上调还是会有什么城市绿化费等五花八门的收取扣除,那还不是一样甚至更低,而菜场的物价上涨,房产的价格猛涨,看似都是有钱人在斟酌户型,其实那都是托都在愚弄自己的同胞。
  每个人都想有份完美的爱情,但现在的社会趋势下,有多少真正是走到最后达成完美商业摄影的呢?我一个朋友结婚了,去年十一国庆回老家办的喜宴,因为是家中最小的女儿,所以父母隆重的举行,他们是经人介绍认识的,在两地工作,渐渐联系熟悉到相爱,谈一年多的时间考虑结婚了,父母们都很高兴,给卖了婚房,终于按计划走进婚姻的殿堂。她在婚前就把婚纱照发给我看,明白的说是在炫耀那种甜蜜,我也很幸运沾点喜气,在美丽的漓江,有山有水有才子佳人,水中嬉戏的鸳鸯也显影视制作公司得格外的浪漫,我看完所有的照片给她打了个电话祝福你们的婚姻永远这样美满幸福!日子过的也不知是快是慢,两个月后的一天半夜手机突然想了,打破了周围的寂静,是她,刚结婚的新娘子,我还没有来及说话,就听见她的哽咽声,说是想到这里散散心,问我周末有没有别的事情,因为哽咽让我的睡意一下子荡然无存,立即开了台灯,问她到底遇到什么事情了,大半夜的不让安宁。接下的聊天中,我一直在用心的倾听着,因为Wholesale ED hardy hoody缺乏了解,婚后的生活搞到一团糟,曾经的热恋是在两地的,现在终于到一起了,矛盾日益呈现了,男人的懒惰及自私让她觉得很难过,婆媳关系处理的不好,儿子永远是向着妈妈的,一家人欺负一个算是外来人口,在孤独无助中忍受着。她想生个孩子,也许家人就不会这样对待他,可她老公说天天给他妈妈脸色看,还生孩子干嘛、、、、我听完所有的遭遇,才结婚两深圳旅游个月,怎么会这样?我开始怜悯对于她,可能帮什么呢?毕竟是家庭琐事,所有的爱情不管是婚前婚后,都是值得珍惜值得保护的。有一方厌倦了,那就是危机的开始,现在的爱情太容易受外界的影响而迷离原始的起点。爱情不需要花言巧语,它需要沉着,两个人都要沉着的面对工作,家庭的所有压力,要互相支持互相安慰;爱情不需要纯粹的金钱做铺垫,两个人要的是爱情,要有爱的点点滴滴的过程,努力赚钱一样过的苏州旅游很好;爱一个人,就知道什么场合说什么样的话,在男人聚会的摊子里,女人要做的要给他足够的面子,有什么过节回家再分析再训斥;女人逛街看到喜欢的衣物,在因为价目而徘徊时,细心爱你的男人会适当时机默默给出惊喜的礼物美满的爱情要我们自己去争取,婚姻的和谐是要双方去努力经营。希望相爱的人们互相多一点理解多一点宽容,让家更温馨!
 青春的我们,会有疼痛,会有泪水,会有笑容浮现。在漂泊的路上,我们时常迷失方向,时常捡拾到贝壳,时常需要一双手的引领。会有一天,你会失去一些人。而也会拥有一些人。失去的痛苦,谁也不想体会,人民都知道那是苦楚的。或许,你会伤心,悲痛......可是,我想说。每个人都只能陪人一程,永远的陪同,或许是不加湿器可能的。可是也不需要感到悲伤。那是每个人都会体会到的。可是我们应该对自己说,我们往往拥有的比失去的多得多。我们更应该珍惜彼此的存在。更应该珍惜现在所拥有的。花开了,很妖艳。花谢了,很凄美。即使再美,也会有一天失去。我只是狠狠地告诉自己,要坚强!我们,不再悲伤。我们会彼此拥抱成长,彼此抚摸伤口......会有一天,我会长满苍白的发,依靠用檀木编织的摇椅上。回忆在阳光下,被分割成一段一段。也不知道哪段是初,哪段是末。只记得,曾发生过这样的事。也不只是在别人身上发生的,还是在自己身上。只记得,曾发生过这样的事。"记得的都已不存在,存在的都已不记得."

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11 March, 201011 March, 2010 0 comments Uncategorized Uncategorized

傻傻的爱你
秦总是在自己最快乐的时候打电话给艳,让她分享自己的快乐。艳总是偶尔不开心的时候打电工业炉话给秦,秦在自己的朋友面前像个智者,总是侃侃而谈,可是每当艳不开心的时候,秦就变得呆笨起来,秦总是安慰艳说:"别多想了好吗,你一定要快快乐乐的......"语无伦次,结结巴巴是秦在艳面前的一贯表现,秦想要在艳面前表现的出色一点,哪怕是能够清楚的表达出自己的意思,可是直到现在秦只要和艳单独在一起的时候,心跳不免就会加快,脸就会莫名的红起来,说话开始变得结巴,秦越是着急,就越是不知工业炉道自己该说什么,做什么。所以秦就那么默默的陪着艳走路,看天。其实秦是喜欢艳的,可是秦一直都没有告诉过艳,自己喜欢她,秦以为艳都已经知道了。秦几乎每一天都会不经意间想起艳来,想她在做什么,想她开不开心,想她,想她......有一次,秦和艳去逛公园,那是艳第一次答应秦的邀请,那一天秦别提有多高兴,秦小心的陪着艳,在那一天秦知道艳这一生最想去的地方就是看看大海,而秦这一生最想去的地方就是看看西藏那工业炉片蓝的让人窒息的天空,秦听了艳的话就默默的记下了,秦告诉自己以后无论如何要带艳去看看大海,而自己的西藏梦就先搁浅吧。也是在那天秦还知道,其实艳一直都有自己喜欢的人,虽然和那个人好多年都不曾联系,虽然他们好多年都不曾相见,虽然那个男孩并不知道其实艳喜欢他,可是当秦看到艳说起那个那还时候脸上的微笑,秦心好像是被打GMAT考试碎的玻璃划破一般的疼痛,秦还是安静的听艳说他们的故事,并且强忍心中的痛,对艳微笑,虽然他知道,那个时候自己的微笑是多么的牵强,多么的疼痛与无奈,可是秦又有什么办法呢。
  在大学里,艳比秦高一级,其实秦和艳高三的时候是前后桌。秦和艳同样都是喜欢安静的人,艳朋苏州货运友不多,而秦总是一大堆一大堆的朋友,秦和艳总是会在无聊的课堂上相互传纸条说些不着边际的话,那是他们在迷茫而又无奈和落寞的高三时最好的放松心情的方式。其实高三以前秦是个标准的乖孩子,父母面前的乖宝宝,老师面前的乖学生,可是一到高三,或许是秦积攒那么多年的叛逆终于爆发,秦开始逃课,开始学会吸烟,可是变得脾气暴躁起来,和其他人一句话讲不顺就会动手打起来。秦开始变杭州压滤机坏起来,抽烟、喝酒、打群架......秦身边的朋友都说秦变了,变得他们不认识了,可是唯独在艳面前,秦就又会变回以前那个温文尔雅的乖孩子,就这样他们度过了寂寞而又绵长的高三,后来秦高考落榜,其实秦虽然逃课,虽然抽挂面烟喝酒打架,可是秦的成绩依然很好,只是不知道那一年的高考,秦是有意还是老天爷对秦的惩罚,秦没有考上大学,那漫长的一个暑假里,秦没有给艳打电话,虽然有时候会想起艳来,可是他没有联系她,艳考到本省的一所大学里读着秦最喜欢的专业。原本以为这一生他们就再也不会见面,可是老天总是造物弄人,秦在家人的期盼和好多人的幸灾乐祸里选择了复读,高四的生活,枯挂面燥而又乏味,身边每一刻都充满着火药味,换了所高中,秦在老师鄙视的眼睛里,坐在补习班最后的角落里,秦收敛了自己的放肆与嚣张,隐忍着自己肚子里的委屈,在补习班老师有色的眼睛里,一点点痛苦的拼命的学着,秦总会在深夜里,灯火通明的马路上大喊以求用这种方式来发泄自己心中的不甘和不满。直到有一天,班长喊秦的名字去拿信的时候,秦愣了一下,机械的走过去拿信,看到艳那熟悉的字迹时。那一刻,秦真的很感动,秦混合机想起和艳的约定,以后不管我们在什么地方,都要给对方写信,告诉彼此自己的生活和学习。秦原以为那时候和艳的约定只不过是随口说说罢了,没想到还是收到了艳从远方寄来的信,就那样,在那个沉重而又压抑的高四,秦靠着艳每隔一周的信开始变得自信起来,每当秦做题做得辛苦的时候,变得烦躁起来的时候,秦都会打开艳寄来的信,安静的读一遍,然后,秦就又会安静而又认真的做起厚厚的习混合机题集来。后来的高考,秦虽然发挥欠佳,可是还是跌跌撞撞的考到了艳所在的大学,而且还是秦最喜欢的专业和艳是同一个专业,不同的是,艳大二秦大一。
    秦是喜欢艳的,可是秦知道艳有自己喜欢的人,所以秦虽然喜欢艳,却不能告诉艳自己管理咨询的心事,每当秦和艳在一起的时候,秦就会很紧张。秦和艳一起陪他们以前高中的朋友的时候会变的很反常,对艳一点都不关心。反而是不停的和朋友说话,其实秦自己也不知道自己是怎么了,明明自己很在乎,很关心艳,可是在他们朋友面前的时候,反而变得和艳陌生起来。其实秦心里明白,不管他怎么掩饰,心还是在艳身上,秦会记得艳每一次不经意间说出的话,默默的记下来,只要是自己能做到的,秦一定会想方设法的去办,记得那次,艳和秦在学校里转,艳看到一大片三叶草,艳就告诉秦说,听说在三叶草里边找到四叶草的人一定会一辈子都很幸福的。秦说这你也信啊,真幼稚。艳生气走掉了,秦追上去,却不知道该说什么才好,就一直跟管理咨询艳说对不起,对不起,自己不是故意的。可是毕竟艳还是生气了,闷闷不乐的回她宿舍了,留下秦一个人站在女生宿舍楼下发呆。后来艳快过生日的时候,秦用一个下午的时间趴在三叶草丛里找四叶草,或许是秦太笨,或许是四叶草被其他人找完,整整一个下午的时间秦看的自己眼都花掉了,还是没找到一颗四叶草,后来秦回到宿舍,在凌晨的时候,一遍一遍的画四叶草给艳。后来,艳收到秦的礼物,看到包装纸上划的那些四叶草开心的笑了。那时候秦也傻傻的挠着头跟艳一起笑了。秦曾经试图从艳身边默默的消失掉,可是一次又一次,秦又回到艳的身边,那时候秦总是刻意的躲着艳,走在去教室的路上相遇,还没等艳说什么,秦总会转过头去和企业管理软件 他身边的朋友一起说笑,看起来很快乐的样子,可是艳却不知道,就在他们擦肩而过后,每一次,秦总是转过头来,看着艳的背影发呆......秦有时候会想,只要这一生让自己就这么默默的看着她就好了,看到她快乐,自己也就会快乐起来,哪怕是......哪怕是艳要自己从她的身边消失掉都可以。秦曾经发誓如果能让艳快乐,即使要用自己的生命去换回哪怕是艳一个微笑也值得。曾经在无数个漆黑的夜里,秦看着远方的天空,默默的祝福艳,这一生只要你过的比我好,让我付出什么代价也在所不惜。

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11 March, 201011 March, 2010 0 comments Uncategorized Uncategorized

爱遥望
2003年的夏天我在广州完成出差任务后,坐火车往回赶。火车上,床铺对面的一个小伙子引起了我的注混合机意。在我们的聊天中我知道他叫程城,陕西人,是个大学生。我告诉他我是山东人。听说我是山东人,他沉默了好一会儿,慢慢地给我讲了他的一个故事。我认识韩小妮是2000年春天。那段时间,我正为自己的一些家庭琐事烦恼着。小妮是一家手机店的营业员,来广州打工已经一年多了。当时我却是第一次来到这个陌生的城市。一个人走下火车的时候,望着下雨的天,想着家里那些混合机烦心事,再看看这繁华陌生城市,没有管雨下得多大,独自沿街漫无目的走着,心中空落落的痛。当我走过韩小妮打工的那家手机店时,是韩小妮冲进雨中给我一把雨伞,拉我进了手机店里躲雨。我想我当时的样子一定落破的不行了。像我这样的人还会有人同情,心里都觉得奇怪,广州这座花花城市,像小妮这样为了个莫不相识的人跑到雨中拉他躲雨的人应该叫傻。更傻的是,她还用热水给我泡了碗方便面。我也不知道怎么回事,反正我也没有客气,就吃混合机下去了。很长时间,雨停了了以后,我当时一句话也没说就走了。我走了以后,我找了份工作,我特意跑到那家手机店去感谢她。可小妮笑呵呵的说:"我知道你会回来的,你的包还在这里呢。"就这样我们认识了。我们两人慢慢地开始交往。我告诉小妮我虽然是个大学生,但是是穷山沟里出来的。大学四年里除了上学读书就是打工,直到毕业回到自己那个山区县城参加了工作,我才有机会回到乳化机家里看望母亲和妹妹。也是我回家后才知道,早在我上大学的时候,母亲为了筹备我上大学的钱,分别答应了我和妹妹的两门亲事。这样才从所谓的"亲家"那里借到了我四年大学的生活、学习的费用。我这一次学成回家,那些亲家开始三天两头的上门缠着母亲要求完成婚事。我当时不愿意让自己和妹妹一生的幸福成为这件事的牺牲品。一怒之下,离家回了县城。没想乳化机到的是,我那个所谓的亲家和媳妇竟追到了我的单位,又哭又闹,骂我是当代的陈世美。没办法,我调换了几个单位,但都是被闹得无法工作。在那个山区小县城里我成了大名人。
  家里的母亲和妹妹也是被闹得茶饭无味、水米无心。为这事母亲天天受良心的谴责,身体越来乳化机越差,渐渐消瘦的不行。我为了躲开这些烦心事,谁也没说就辞去公职一个人来到了广州。就在我彷徨烦闷的时候,是阿妮给了我遮雨的雨伞,给了我一碗填肚子的方便面。我们认识以后,阿妮也真的像亲人一样关心爱护我。我也渐渐觉得我离不开阿妮。阿妮很爱笑,像是这辈子就没什么可烦心的事。她也是个很勤俭持家的姑娘,从不乱花钱,也从不下馆子吃饭,每次我发了工资要请她下馆子吃饭,她都说:"给我服务费,我卖菜乳化机做给你吃,保证比大饭店的菜还好吃。"我就把钱给她,俩个人动手奢侈一顿;她也不喜欢用洗衣机,洗衣服很乐意用手一点一点地搓。我说:"这多浪费时间,又费劲。"她说:"这样干净。"阿妮出门不喜欢打的,不管有什么急事,她总是骑那俩擦得很干净的自行车。我常对她说:"累不累呀?你!"她总说:"还行,算是健身吧。以后,你也的骑车子。"阿妮最不喜欢我吸烟,见我抽烟,她就乳化机会伸出手把烟拿过来灭掉说:"有害。"对于这些事情,开始的时候我有些扭捏,有些别扭,后来渐渐的,我也心安理得地接受了。其实我也知道,阿妮是在帮我省钱。2001的春节的时候,看着要好的同事、朋友都回家过节,我心里特别难受。我也想家、想母亲、想妹妹,第一次那么很强烈,不知道家里人怎么样了。可是我不敢回家。为了我,阿妮也没有回家。她把收拾好的行李又放下,答应陪我过这个离家出走后的春节。除夕的晚上,我喝得很醉,边喝边流泪。窗外的烟花很好看,阿妮却没能出去欣赏那美丽的烟花,她还得照顾躺在她的胸前留着泪沉沉地醉汉。那一晚,虽然醉了,可是我感觉那时我这一生最安心最舒服的时光。那个春节后,我是死心的爱分散机上了阿妮。可我不敢跟阿妮说,我怕她会笑话我,我也害怕母亲会受伤。阿妮还是整天的笑,我却多了一层心事。我写信给妹妹,希望先探探母亲的口气及家里的情况。两个星期后,我接到了妹妹的一个电话,说母亲病重住进了县医院,凑不够医药费动不了手术。那些亲戚们都不乐意借钱给我们家。说我是个没良心的东西。借钱给我们只会打水漂。那天,我心里既痛苦又着急。我搜遍了全身上下、屋里的各个角落也分散机只有不到一万块钱,我知道这离妹妹说的医药费还远呢。看我着急的样子,身边的阿妮默默掏出五千块给我。车站送别的时候,我抱着阿妮说:"你等我,一定等我回来,我要娶你。"阿妮笑着说:"你傻不傻!这么多人。"
  两个月后,我的母亲还是去世了。葬礼后,我没办法回广州,那些债主就在门外,那两个所谓的亲家也在其中。我知道乡亲们攒几个钱也不易。我不想让他们每天心里都不踏实。回广州,我既不放心妹妹,债主们也不放心我。我写信给阿妮让她再等我两年。我要把所有的债都还清了,给妹妹找个好人家。我什么都放心了就回去娶分散机她。阿妮回信说相信我,让我把所有的事情都处理好了再说。我想阿妮真是个好姑娘,那时候,我每天都念叨。2002年秋后的一个傍晚,阿妮一个人提了一些简单的行李来到了山村。我正赶了牛进村子,妹妹跑来告诉我说:"小妮姐来了。"我们家的小院里早有几个邻居跟了来。阿妮正招呼他们坐。她见我急匆匆赶回来,便乐个没完,说:"瞧!你都黑成什么样了。"我也就笑,满院子的人也跟着笑起来,他们听着这阿妮说话的语调怪怪的好听。妹妹满屋里忙着张罗、打扫,安排她未来嫂子安歇的地方。半个月后,阿妮要走了。半个月里,小妮和妹妹上山干活,傍晚赶牛回家,早起到村头排队担水。我和妹妹看在眼里乐在心里。村里人都说;"程城你好福气。"小妮走的时候,妹妹哭得泪人似的。希望她早点回来。小妮走后的春节,妹妹嫁人了。我把家交给妹妹看管,身上揣了五千块钱走了。我想小妮,我要去找她。我当时没有提前去信,也没有打电话。我希望跟小妮忽然来到山村一样,我要搅拌机给小妮一个惊喜,向她求婚。我想,我和阿妮再苦干上两年,那时,我们再回山村也可以办一个很风光的婚礼了。阿妮一定高兴坏了。我坐在南去的火车上,就是觉得火车太慢了。我真的有些急不可耐了。我在想广州变成什么样了,阿妮是不是还是那么年轻漂亮,那么爱笑,外出不让我打的,不让我吸烟,不让我穿不干净的衣服。我就这么一遍一遍地想着。火车停了,我飞快的跑出车站。我看到的广州真的变了。海蓝的天那么深广,太多喧闹奔忙的人流。我急匆匆地赶到小妮打工的手机店,我这一次没有打的,一路上转了几趟车。我告诉营业员我找韩小妮。可营业员告诉我说:"没这个人。"我怕听错了,再问一遍,回答还是一样。我就急了。我大声说:"她一直在这里打工,怎么会没这个人。"我就跟那个营业员在那里吵。直到老板出来问我是不是叫程城。我说:"是啊!我是小妮的男朋友。"老板把我领进里屋说:"韩小妮半年前就走了,不知发生Master了什么事。临走时留下一封信,说是给一个叫程城的,就是你了。或许里面有她的地址。你自己看吧。"我听了既吃惊又惶恐,打开手中的信。你好吗?写这封信时我就相信你会回来,回来娶我,来兑现你的诺言。可是你真的回来了,我却已是别人的新娘了。所以我谢谢老天,必竟我没给你什么承诺。你知道吗?当你离开的日子,我每天都在惦念着你,盼望着你早一点来个电话,来封信,告诉我说家里没什么事儿。你马上就回来了。每到夜里,我一个人躺在床上就盼着天快点亮,盼着天亮的时候,你会忽然出现在我床边,告诉我说你要娶我了。而我还要忸怩地撒娇。可我每天也都在害怕。害怕你会忽然来一封信,来一个电话告诉我说你结婚了。我更害怕天黑,因为常常梦里梦到你结婚的场面而惊醒,只好流着泪独自坐到天明。你不知道,当你告诉我说让我再等两年时,我有多痛苦。可想一想,心里又有多高兴。你走后的这两年,我曾经多少次的设计两年中的事情。设计我们怎么见面,你会是什么样的表情;会说些什么样的话;我会怎么撒娇;我们又会怎么结婚。我也曾想象过,你结婚了而新娘子不是我。那么我会怎么去死,是割腕,还是服毒。想想那个场景,我会情不自禁地哭。    

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11 March, 201011 March, 2010 0 comments Uncategorized Uncategorized

邂逅
四年前,我偶然遇到她,长长的头发,水灵灵的大眼,活泼的像只小鸟,无忧无虑地和别人说笑.我站在楼上望搅拌机着她,逐渐有了好感.05年,我初中毕业,高中没考上,最后选择了上中专,当时报的是广告设计.我本人不太爱说话,性格挺内项的,朋友不是很多,没有可以掏心掏肺的朋友.直到遇到她,我的生活开始改变,或许,是一个转折吧.曾经太过自闭,被朋友称为"冷血动物",认识我的人搅拌机都说:我的眼神太冷淡,脸上没有一丝笑容,所以才有这个尊称.本人不太爱接触女生,我感觉女生太麻烦.那时的口头禅,便是:女生好烦.所以初二之前没有恋爱,直到初三的时候.有了关于我的传言,说小风和谁谁谈恋爱了,闹得是满城风云,朋友都取笑我说:冷血动物也会恋爱.我呢?却从不当回事,哎,走自己的路,让别人说去吧.或许,因为遇到她,我才真正的去改变,为了她,我疯狂的改变,甚至我都不认识自己.因为在我的世界里,没有一个女孩值的我为她变.可是她,不一样,她搅拌机吸引我,我从来弄不明白,难道这是爱.我看着她的嘻闹,很是好奇,一个女生竟然如此开朗,至少在我遇到的女生里面,从没遇到像她这样的.我站在楼上望着她,还开口问别人她的名字,这是我来这个学校的第一句话,当时我都不知怎么问的.刘雪,十八岁.从此她成了我生命里不可缺少的一部分.才来这个学校,一节课还没上呢?一向自闭的我,竟然问了好多关于她的事,别人给我讲的有声有色,我也听的津津有味.上课的铃声响了都不晓得.幸亏,给我讲的搅拌机那个哥们够义气,他听见上课铃响的时候,拉了我一把.不然我还没从这个谈话中.醒来。萧飞,十八岁,身高一米七二.两个星期后,我们成了无话不谈的好朋友.他曾经刻穿了我和刘雪之间的转眼之间,两个月了,终于有一天,我安纳不住了.所以我把这个想法告诉了萧飞.他有些惊讶,甚至他都不相信眼前的是我,他微微点头,带着一种说不出来的苦笑,所以我也没当回事,继续滔滔不绝的讲这件事.像我这样自闭的人,改变是不容易的.慢慢地,我学会了伪装,在她面前有说搅拌机有笑,而背后却怎么也高兴不起来,我这个人嘛,天生不会说笑,长得还算不赖,身高一米八零.幸亏我有军师萧飞.萧飞是把能想的招全想出来了,嘿,结果还不错,两个月后,我如愿地追到了她.我很平凡,平凡到一无是处,茫茫人海,我怎么会遇到她.那怕现在我们分开了,但我总在忙碌的背后去想她,去回忆我们曾经的点点滴滴.记得我们相爱后,一切都还算环保空调完美,可是,我总感觉她的心不在我身上,她经常无理取闹,而我只能眼睁睁的看着她和别人说笑,我却被抛之一边.我知道,我这人太孤傲,也太幼稚,更是太单纯.其实,我并不计较这些,我只是希望她快乐,能顾及一下我的感受.我错了吗?渐渐的,她离我越熔断器来越远,逐渐到了分手的地步,我能如何,我知道,我阻止不了,只能看她离去,结果一拍而散.那时我们相爱了一个月零七天.
偌大的院子里一直没有丛生过杂草,仅有这么一棵庞然大物立在其中,很是突兀。我从窗内向外所能望见的,仅是一根光秃的树干,要得出了门仰头才能见到树顶以及上面为数不多的树枝。如此枯槁的树干以及毫无生气的虬枝让我很难确信它至今仍是活物,或说有真切的生命以及魂灵。去年春天的一个晚上,一场突如其来的瓢泼大雨使得金融管理窗外瞬时闹腾起来,我关好门窗,上床睡觉。随后起了闪电,一闪而过的短暂时间里四周通明得如白昼一般,再之后便是骇人的雷鸣。我把头捂到被子里,浅眠,然后沉睡。第二天起来打开大门,才发现院子里那棵杉树上端被昨夜的雷电霹折了一截,半挂在树梢。随后那悬着的一截被村长带人砍了下来,没能留在我家用作柴木。而那截树干被板车拖去了哪里,我不知道后来的一天上午,我如往常一样准备去FDA认证村口走动走动,却欣然发现杉树顶竟长出一束新的绿枝来。打那以后,我开始将每天的大半时间都耗在了树下。我一直觉得,它与我有着挥之不去的联系。我在很小的时候,于同龄伙伴都能够不断叽叽喳喳的那一刻,便开始被明显区分开来。我不会说话,从出生一直到现在。我一直没有能够大度到能接受别人的哂笑或揶揄,哪怕听到一句简单的"哑巴"。我无法用语言反驳什么,有时气急了能不管不顾地拿起任意的东西砸向对方。最初在学校的那段日子我的脾气开始变得异羽毛球场地常暴躁,无法控制。后来退学回家,没有选择去特殊学校,年少的固执认为那很没面子。退学后的几年,没有找到工作,也没有适宜我的出路,自己房地产律师也就闲起来了,无所事事。后来我开始每天很早出门,一直走到村口,然后折回来走到村尾。有时在半路碰到大片的各色野花,或是田田的荷叶,我都会驻足停留很长时间。
  院子里的杉树是母亲在我出生的那年种下的,所以她一直说这树是和我一块儿长起来的。我每天坐在树下长久地仰望它,仰望它刚长出的新枝逐渐抽出绿叶,我似乎能听到那些小生灵在枝条里攒动的细碎声响。而杉树羽状的针叶,让我忽然联想起沙漠里的骆驼刺来。树的基部,之前被刷上的一层石灰已经脱落无几,露出斑驳的板框压滤机树皮。那么,这恰是和我相联系了罢,于是我一直偏执地认定这杉树就代表了经历过动荡命运的我。与我一样,在相同的年代,生长起来。但那时这样的自诩,却是不揣浅陋的。现在我渐渐明白了我给母亲带来了多少苦难与不安,会比我承受的要多得多。而这些,从我小时候她背着我四处求医时便开始了。但那时的我却觉得眼前的一切都是理所当然,我遭受如此大的不幸,母亲背我找医生,再正当不过的因果关系。于是,我的内心不知为什么就及其安稳了,气定神闲地看着母亲脚下不断变换角度的泥泞山坡。母亲在很多个雨天里,都这样背着我,我撑着伞,随她走过很长很长的山路。可是那时的我太年轻,没能理解她,以至于她不小心的一个趔趄,都会勾起我很大的LED显示屏怒火,像酣睡中的人突然被叫醒时突发的愤怒。那时我竟会推开她从她的后背犟着身子跳下来,甩开手里的伞,让它被风扯到很远处,把自己浸在雨里,甚至会漠然地直接往泥水中坐下去。那时的自己认为,这样便足以表达自己的不满了,这样她才会引起注意了。我记得她当时甩开了手中的伞,在我背后双手托着我的两臂试图抬我起来。我在察觉后双腿胡乱地弹动着,溅起自己一身泥水。那天我们没有再往前走,而是很早就回家了。回来的一路上我都在故意往水坑里踩,我没穿雨靴,而只是穿了极滑的布鞋,里面浸满了水,凉意在脚边扩散开来。不断听到母亲在后面叮嘱:"慢点走,小心滑,要不还是我背你。"这时我竟然窃喜,甚至生出胜利的喜悦来。  

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11 March, 201011 March, 2010 0 comments Uncategorized Uncategorized

水晶之恋
 静是一个美丽开朗的女孩,她有着直爽的个性,脸上挂着灿烂的微笑,看上去就象个天真的小孩。在光电开关一次钢琴演奏会上,她认识了一个叫杰的男孩,吸引她的是他的眼神,平静中带一丝忧郁,杰是一个沉默少言的人,但静每次都会想办法让他开心,杰说静像水晶一样美丽、清澈透明,没有一点瑕疵。久而久之,静发现自己喜欢上了杰他,而他也能感觉到和她在一起的快乐。他们又相约在一起,静先开口说:"我喜欢你,我们在一起好吗?"她有期待的眼神望着他。杰沉默了许久说:"对不起!"为什什?是我仪表机床不好吗?""是我配不上你。"杰转过身不看她。被杰拒绝后,静有一又时间没有和他联系,但后来还是忍不住去找他。但开门的不是杰,他自称是杰的朋友。他和静说了一个关于杰的故事。杰是一个孤儿,可是他却很重情义,一年前他因朋友被人欺负而向那个人报复,结果把那个打成了半残废,就逃到了这里,但前段时间他却说要去自首,我问他为什么,他没有说,只是告诉我如果有一个女孩来找他,就把这封信交给她。静看着信,泪如雨下。"对不起,静,我欺骗了你,我从来分散机就没有想过我的人生在会遇到你这样的女孩,第一次见你,你阳光般的笑容在我脑海中挥之不去,和你在一起的日子,我忘了所有的罪恶,面对你的表白,我却没有信心能拥有你的爱,你就像水晶一样清澈透明,而我只是一块斑斓的顽石,我相信你会找到自己的幸福,就像我相信你的美丽一样,那些快乐的日子,将成为我永久的回忆
 不自不觉就要走完了三年的大专生涯,想想起来也蛮好笑的,居然在看着全班同学们的面时候叫企业内训不出到一半女生的名字。总是习惯了独孤与寂寞,习惯了独来独往,总是习惯了在一个无人的角落偷偷流泪,所以在毕业即将离别的时候居然感觉不到一点点伤悲。回想起这三年的大学生涯,你说波澜不惊,其实偶尔也小惊小浪。我身高一米八,在班里面是最高的同学之一,也算备受女生的关注吧!上课,下课,传纸条我约会去吃饭的,约我出去玩的数不胜数。可是缘于我目光太高吧!在班上我并没有找到自己的现代企业管理那个人。后来迷上了帝国游戏,我成了疯狂的逃课族,一个学习在班里面上课的没个几天,也就是在这时,我学会了抽烟。一日帝国-抽烟-帝国的生活轮回进行着。网吧网管代号"老鼠",和他不知不觉的熟了起来,有时侯没烟抽也跟他借那么一点,老鼠为人豪爽,大大的嘴唇,卷卷的黄毛,大概刚刚从农村出来吧!和大多数庸俗的乡巴佬没什么两样,先在这一座大城市非几年,几年后等玩腻了,又变回来了。一桶巴宽的牛仔裤,矮矮的个子,一团肮脏数控机床的黄色乱发,非主流呀非主流,这是我对一般初到城里的农村人的普遍印象,也是对他的印象。说实在话,看到这群人正常人都会觉的庸俗。我身高虽然一米八,但体重只有65公斤,明显偏瘦,他们都说我瘦,后来我也意识到了这点。我们宿舍有个同学叫秦敏,是我很要好的朋友,他也很瘦,我们都商量好了,实行革命制,每天清早天还没亮便拖着沉醉的身体到球场去跑步。清晨的校园球场格外的清凉,特别在这夏日炎炎之际,在球场上驰骋的感觉总让人觉的一切是这么美好。开始前几天实在跑的很费劲,五百米下来就快喘不上气来,再加上长时间的抽烟,肺活量早就不足了,这个时候真想放弃。秦敏后来也说想杭州装饰放弃了,后来我们班的女生也来参加晨跑,听说有一个还是为了我,但到底是不是真的,我就不知道了。有我们班的几个女生陪伴,这下就不怕无聊了。我和秦敏都没有放弃,还是继续坚持了下来。就这样,在清晨六点钟的球场上,总听到我们一声声嘻嘻哈哈的调戏声,一群人唧唧喳喳的讨论声,滔滔不绝,延联不段的在这古老的校园跑道上回荡。而这个笑声居然维持了近半个学期。我是班上公认的第一美男子,也是班里唱歌最好的同学。我们班的人都很喜欢我给他们唱歌,在一个晚上,我第一次在宿舍同学面前轻唱,第一次在别宿舍的同学面前轻唱,谁都没想到他们居然推举我在全班面前轻唱。在一个宁静的试验课晚上,两克金叫我给我们组的同学清唱,我开始没唱,看见大家都那么期待的杭州装饰目光,我最终还是唱了,这一唱可不得了,唱完了一首又被他们叫唱第二首,第三首,第四首----唱完了一个组,又去唱另外一个组,《白桦林》《同桌的你》《我的心只可容纳一个你》一首接着一首忘情的在同学面前轻轻的唱。没唱完一首歌,就听到一天天排山倒海的涨声,这一晚,对于全班同学来说是美妙的,对我来说也是美妙的。
   全校41个班级,每个班级一个同学上场,一人唱一首歌,平均一首歌按4分钟来唱的话,整场序企业培训幕需要160多分钟来进行,实际上整场曲序幕从7点半开始直至到将近12点钟才结束。那晚我深情演唱了拿首的《白桦林》,观众反应响亮,居然很顺利的进入到了校园十大歌手,获得了本届比赛的第三名,同时还获得了比赛的银牌,200块钱的奖金。比赛一结束的第二天我和她们到外面嗨了一餐。除了玩游戏,唱歌之后,另外,我还对乒乓球十分感兴趣。午后五点钟下课我便拿着球拍到学校的乒乓球人力资源管理体育馆打球。在高中,我的乒乓球实力全校第一,可在那里,我只是一名很普通的选手,初次体会到了山外有山,人外有人是什么感受,以前都是自己打别人,现在是互打,有时候甚至是挨打。可是我很喜欢那种感觉,那种感觉让我忘记了烦恼的一切,处在高度的兴奋状态之中。我们相互聊了一会后,她恢复了直立状态很快就走了。我这才看清楚她的身材,她不仅仅脸蛋长的好看,连身材都很火辣性感,腿很白很肥美,隐约透露着一种白里透红女人味的美,她的胸部和总裁培训臀部多很丰满很挺很好看。居然有一股莫名的冲动。我忍不住又道:"哗,你真的好漂亮哦!"这一晚,初次体验到思念一个女人是什么滋味,思念她让我彻夜难眠,我越不要自己想,脑子更越是想。我不仅想念她的美,她的温柔,更是想念她的爱,她的需要,她的身体,我觉的自己是如此的迷恋她,迷到一种走火入魔的境界。这种感觉是读了那么久的书所从来没有的。课上总是走神,漠然回首,一阵阵痛断心肠的寸断。或是苏轼笔下那首诗歌:夜来幽梦突还乡,小纤窗,正素装,相顾无语,唯有泪千行,料得年年断肠处,明月夜,短松冈。喜欢一个人的感觉往烘箱往就是这样,因为喜欢的那份感觉而觉的格外甜美,又因为得不到对方而如此的空虚和心疼。这一晚不经意间又梦见了那位女孩子,走在乡村的小道上,拥抱着月光回家的路,我们笑的那么满足,她怀抱着我从村前的小溪前轻轻走过。我们要去结婚了,我们要结婚了,在村前小溪边的古藤树下。突然暴风怒号,风雨大作,我拉着她躲进了小溪的木舟之上。天地大暗,世界凝固了,这一科我们再也无法错过的起,在船上拥抱了。我要哭的说:宝贝,我不能没有你。她也急的道:我们好不容易才在一起,你想爱就爱个篮球场地够吧!舟下水过荡荡,仓外暴风怒号,霹雳雷响。恳求不知冥冥之中,上帝最终将我们引向何处,心底没有一点预见,耳边是美丽的音乐,眼前是朦胧凄美的你,世界凝固,太阳永不再升,就这样,让我们永生厮守吧!

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11 March, 201011 March, 2010 0 comments Uncategorized Uncategorized

雅丽
我小姨的女儿雅丽,外表秀气,声音甜美,性格温柔善良的打工妹,从十七岁就出外打工,一直在服亚丁装厂工作。但自从遭遇了相恋五年男友的离弃,她一直走不出失恋的阴影。她经常对我说,生活真没意思,不管我走到哪里,天气怎样变化,我都觉得看到的地方灰蒙蒙的一片。我有时会带她到人多的地方去放松一下心情,但其他人玩得再热闹,她都阴沉着脸,一言不发。看她难过的样子,让我想起我伤痛的初恋,还有失恋后那一蹶不振的五、六年。我不希望她像我一样,用漫长的时间去祭奠一段房地产总裁爱情。我总劝她,要让心平静,不去大悲大喜,不多想。他只是你人生的一个过客,不必怀念也不必难过,就当是成长的必经之路。真正放下了,释怀了,新的感情才能带给你快乐。可是道理她都懂,却始终做不到。在这个经济飞速发展的社会,我们有太多的欲望,有物质上的、生理上的还有精神上的。属于自己的欲望能让人欣喜;不属于自己的,让人无限向往却又痛不欲生。如果你痛苦,就要审视一下,自己的欲望是不是属于自己。不属于自己的叉车感情,带来的除了教训就只剩伤害。放下不属于自己的爱情,不仅是放了别人更是解脱了自己。雅丽对我说,你也经历过失恋,人生一世,有些事情不是说忘就能忘的!从哀草连天的清秋到风雪载途的寒冬,从莺歌艳舞暖春已到郁郁葱葱的仲夏;恍惚中一年时光逝去,时间的沙漏在手心就这样默默流淌,悲悯人生,伤感流年...雅丽说,我常常站在楼上,望着远处繁华街道上烤箱的霓虹灯,把一个个行人的身影拖长,直至隐去.大街上不知是谁在吟唱那忧伤的音符,敲击着心底曾经的忧伤,勾起那场执着的爱恋、那一份无可自拔的情愫、那一地无奈的思念和忧愁。我已没有勇气和毅力去记录那无悔的青春;在现实与理想的夹缝里残喘着,用那不曾丢失的单纯维系着心中的瞳憬。我对雅丽说,两个人,走错了一段路,哪怕用一辈子来后悔都已经没有意义了!谁又能毫无遗憾的说,错过了,就是错过了!或许很多年以后,我们还不曾忘记过对方,不曾忘记控制柜那段只能相望而不能相守的那段刻骨铭心的记忆......或许很多年以后,我们都有了自己的幸福,却只能遗憾不能相守着给对方幸福。对于我来说,这一辈子,已经注定遗憾了。恋了这么多年,最后我们却走在各自的两条平行线上,成为最熟悉的陌生人!雅丽神情忧郁的说道。
透过猫眼看到外面的妖娆女子时,我一点都不惊奇。我知道这一天迟早会来,就在我知道自己的肚子栅栏式接线端子里孕有一个小生命的时候。不对,应该是在我爱上渊的那一刻起。我便周而复始的做着这样的梦,有人说梦都是来自一个人的内心的,还有人说女人都是敏感的,都说的很对,但是他们不知道女人的敏感往往都很准。我一直都很相信自己的敏感心,只是没想到会来的这么快。我总以为他至少可以熬过三个月,看来是我高估了男人的忍耐力,高估了他对我的爱,至少我以为他看在当初跟他一起从一无所有到稻城今日的辉煌心里会有些许感激而存有的责任。看来这一切都是我高估了,或者是我低估了这女人对他的诱惑力。望着茶几上他们俩的照片,渊满脸的灿烂,她性感而妩媚的依偎在身边,好似真的一对甜蜜恋人,而我只是见证的局外人。镜子里的我因更何况他一向喜欢风情万种的女子,这是我和他恋爱时便知道的。我一直认为他能和我这样不对胃口的女人步入结婚的礼堂,那是因为他爱我而所做九寨沟的改变,所以为了回馈他的爱,这些年来我一直在试图改变成那样的女子。事实也证明我的努力改变更加增进了我们的爱,我们一直都过的很和谐,也很幸福。可现在我才明白那种天然的妩媚才是最让人难以抗拒的。哪怕没有爱!偌大的房间里只有我一个人,望着他给我买的满屋子的小熊,翻着我们过往甜蜜依偎的照片,心一点点的被撕成一片一片,锥心的痛布满了全身,肚子似乎也有些疼,努力平复摄影工作室自己的心,至少我不能失去肚子里的宝宝。看着屏幕里憨豆先生滑稽的搞怪,我笑的眼泪四处飞溅......11点多的时候,渊回来了。他从没在12点后回家,从另一公司律师个角度讲他是个好男人。只要我能够学会睁一只眼闭一只眼。只是我没有办法做到,当我第一次恋爱的时候我便知道我是个没有办法容忍自己爱的人和其她女人有一点点的肌肤之亲,更何况我那么深爱着渊。过再苦的日子都没有关系,但是却没有办法去接受他对其她女人的无限温柔,我会崩溃。之所以现在我还可以如此平静,那是因为我必须为没出世的宝宝负责,我不能让它有任何闪失......第二年的春天我顺利的产下一名女婴。渊抱着她,爱不稻城亚丁释手。脸上挂满了慈爱而满足的笑容,对我也更疼爱关怀了。而他和那个女人也结束了,这是我在一次经过他书房时听到他在电话这头说:"我们已经结束了。"我知道他说结束了就是结束了,这么多年来我还是多少知道他的秉性的。只是我还是没有办法当做一切都没有发生过,没有办法忘记,没有办法原谅。我知道这辈子渊都没有办法忘记我,因为她--我们的宝宝有着和我极其相似的的五官,特别是那微微上扬的嘴唇。
 美丽的幻想像枫树头上鲜红的残叶,被冰冷的秋风无情的扫过,在天空打着转,最后一片片的落四姑娘山到地上,就像一颗受伤的心在滴着血。我曾经固执的以为霜会来到我身边,并且固执的坚信我们会在一起。现实却毫不留情的击落我的希望,把我扔向失望的深渊。霜失信了,毫无理由的失信的,这对我来说是一次沉重的打击。半年后的我没有等到她的到来,也没有再度a听到她的声音,等到的只是一封苍白的诀别信。时间和距离像一把越来越锋利的刀,绝情的斩断了连接我们之间的最后一根丝,而我始终没有察觉我们的感情已经到了边缘。我疯狂的将信撕的粉碎,苍白的碎片就像我破碎的心,一片片重重的跌落在地上。我又一次喝醉了,为一个相约一年而又永远失去的女孩子,彻彻底底的醉了。从头到尾,我感觉我和霜的海螺沟感情根本就是一场梦,梦里来梦里去,然而梦却不能永远的做下去,结束了,留在枕边的只有叹息。我不知道我对霜为什么会那样的执着,我只知道她是我第一个深爱的女孩子,然而爱还是在这种执着间错过,流走。彻底离开霜的日子让我的生活再度陷入了恐慌,我不知道如何是好,整天除了上课,我找不到了自己的方向。我开始在这个城市到处游走,只想让痛苦的心融化在这个陌生的城市中。我去了海边,蔚蓝的大海,用心去看原来是这么蓝,蓝的让人伤心。我爬了崂山,空旷的山顶,置身其中荒山寂寂,空荡的像自己的心。我游览了鲁迅公园,书林书山书水,思想浸润其中,让我不觉微微叹息,为伟大文学家叹息,也为自己叹息。每天,落落默默,我去了很多地方。面对陌生的人,面对陌生的建筑,面对陌生的一切,一切变得更加陌生。相遇在人海聚散在重逢之外醒来的窗台等着月光洒下来时间毫不留情的冲淡了一切,沉淀下的只有叹息。窗外,昏暗的灯光奄奄一息乳化机的照在小道上,朦朦胧胧。呆呆的看着桌上雪白的信笺,记忆里努力搜寻着曾经残留的美好回忆,然而,霜,这个名字现在却变的这么陌生遥远。细雨轻轻敲打着枯黄的竹子,男孩临窗聆听。窗前的书桌上躺着两张演唱会的门票,票的旁边是一款新款的手机,屏幕上一句短短的信息:"好,我来,等我!"简短的信息中,流露出浓浓的思念。男孩轻声细语:"今天的雨真是别样的温柔!圣诞节,也会下这样的雨吧?"宁静的夏夜依旧,恬静的路灯依旧,寂静的校园小道依旧,而我和霜的感情却不在依旧。带着一颗失落的心,我只身来到了一座美丽的海滨城市--青岛,开始我的大学生涯。时间,距离,感情让刚初进大学的我想了很多,我真的不想失去霜,不想失去我的初恋,但现实却毫不留情的扼杀了我的这点奢望。我不知道霜为什么要这样对我,就算分离她也会给我一个理由,但是她没有,在我来到青岛以后,霜就再也没有了消息,我当时很绝望,感觉自己想被抛弃在一个孤岛上的孩子,突然感觉异常孤独。     

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